Things some of you always wanted to know about me.

Everyday, I write and I feel like there is somebody listening to what I have to say.Its not necessary that a real person has to listen to you.. right?? So, I have been writing about myself and how I feel to this imaginary listener.I have been a very positive person and in my journey through life(so far), I've seen that there can be instances where your positivity can be challenged.One can feel credulous,vulnerable,helpless and feel like the whole world is coming to an end.One may feel that the earth beneath one's feet is being stripped off and one can also feel that life has put you in a position from where there is no going ahead or going back.


Some of us are generally more emotional than the others and then there are a bunch of us who are extremely neutral and a few of us who are highly insensitive.I don't really know where i fall.Something happened and this to me seemed big, very very big.I never wrote about it or even spoke to anyone about it.The reason was obvious.I was afraid. Afraid of the fact that people may not be able to really understand what I am going through.I still don't know if i was right or wrong in doing so because i never did try anyone. The first time i even made the slightest effort to do it was when i ended up breaking down at a friend's house.I was supposed to give her a birthday surprise but i ended up shocking everybody with tears mid-way during the party.I was looking and looking and looking for that one person who would not just listen but really understand what I am going through.

My mom is my best friend but she was not exactly the person who could help me with this.She was a part of this and I wanted to be her pillar of strength.Today,I want to write about it and let the monkey go off my chest.I am doing this because I think a lot of people out there don't really have anyone to talk to seek help from.Today, I am able to write about it tell people what I did to be who I am today. A year back the worst thing happened to me.I was not myself and I couldn't talk for hours.I lost consciousness and was a complete wreck.I was nothing more than a piece of flesh for a week.I had lost the most important man in my life, my Father.I know a lot of people out there are probably in a situation that is a hundred times worse than this and I am also writing this for them and all others and everyone.

A week after this happened, I had to come back to Bangalore form Kerala and face people here.I had to talk and be normal and behave the way I did before.How did I act generally?? Who was Fany Aji??How did I talk to everybody? ..I had forgotten it all.I stepped inside college and had no choice to put on a smile for my friends.They were around and it felt good.I realized that there was a big void inside me and nothing was really helping.An empty space that i thought will never be filled.

The void has been filled today..BY GOD!

A lot of people fail to realize that God has big plans for us and its all part of the plan.Sometimes, things happen.Things do go wrong but God can give you the wisdom and courage to act wisely and face the most horrifying times.He can protect you and be your father.I know I am blessed and so is everybody.We have infinite potential and power within us and through God, we can connect with them.It is true that a real person can help you heal your wounds with time but relying and seeking God erases these wounds.People tell me that I am strong but as a matter of fact, I am not.I know I am not strong or smart or anything.Its God working through me.If i hadn't seeked God, I would have failed in all my tests(May it be the VTU ones or the ones I had to face in real life).I would have failed miserably.In fact, I would have become an introvert and a pathetic depressed girl who nobody would want to talk to(except for may be my mother).I've been able to manage things in life pretty well only because of God.Today,I know that things and people will come and go and come again and go again and that doesn't change anything.If things are goping wrong, take charge of the situation.SEEK GOD and believe in yourself and help spread joy and happiness because it really is possible to bring yourself out of any situation and it is possible for each one of us to make a difference.

It does'nt matter if your called beautiful or ugly or smart or stupid or "chance pe dance marnewala" or "infinity" or "fatass" or "tall freak" or "looser" or "puny" or "nincompoop" or anything.That is because God has created us all beautifully and we are His most perfect creations(that does not mean there is no room for improvement).You are who you think you are and you can see the bigger things in life only if you seek God.Find Him and you'll know what I am talking about.If someday I know that somebody has benefited from what I have written today, I will be overwhelmed.